Although there’s been a lot of talk about virtues lately, it’s not always easy for someone to take the first step to get started. The truth is that our growth in character is a lifelong activity. In other words, from the habits we acquire, the challenges and relevance of trying to be just, humble, courageous or prudent become clearer.

Fortunately, growing in virtues is an open and permanent invitation, regardless of experience, age or profession. So where to start?

It all starts with a genuine desire to be a good and better person. To do this, a good starting point is to admit that we won’t always get it right and that we can make mistakes. This is part of life and applies to all of us. What’s more, talking about virtues also means talking about the vices that oppose them. Learning begins here. These considerations lead us to three possible steps to start growing in virtues.

Step 1

The first step, called forgiving, involves forgiving our own mistakes and misunderstandings. It involves keeping them in the past. The idea here is to give due weight to what has passed, where regrets and resentments dwell. Remember, the past can influence but does not determine who you are!

I know, this effort isn’t easy and perhaps some help is needed, such as the complicity of friends. Sharing pain is an act of humanity (and courage) that brings people closer together. For example, something that has helped me is to accept issues from the past as part of my journey. Some still worry me; others make me laugh, and laughing at yourself indicates that something from the past has been overcome. Eventually the memory will bring back some pain. At that point, give the feelings time to pass and focus your attention on the present. Enjoy living in the present – your real moment – and look to your future, to who you want to be.

Step 2

The second step involves self-knowledge. Start paying attention to yourself. See how you think and react to what happens. Pay attention to the emotions that motivate or paralyze you and the thoughts that help or hinder you. This habit will help you get to know yourself. To know yourself well is to understand who you are as a human being, no more, no less. Knowing yourself well, without self-deprecation on the one hand or boasting on the other (pride), is what we know as the virtue of humility.

Step 3

The third refers to daily action. Start working on consolidating small daily habits. As Aristotle said, we are what we habitually do. Start with a 15-minute daily effort on what you want to include in your growth routine.

The secret is simple, everyday actions, or small acts of kindness. J.R.R. Tolkien exalted this in his literature, implying that it is the small daily actions that make a difference in the world.

For example, if you want to grow in persistence (the virtue of fortitude), start dedicating 15 minutes a day to doing what you would usually be fickle at: physical exercise, reading, among other activities that require perseverance. It’s worth remembering that virtues are expressed in the way we act, speak, think and do, and also in the ends we seek with our actions.

Another example involves courage, considering that courage is doing the right thing even with our fears and insecurities. Take advantage of small daily opportunities to do what generates these emotions. It could be trying your hand at public speaking, defending your point of view when others think differently, giving feedback or pointing out something that isn’t right in your organization. Getting used to experiencing this state and still doing your duty or vocation is a step of courage.

Conclusion

It’s important to pay attention to yourself and mentally review how you’ve felt throughout your experiences. Gradually you will be able to increase the frequency and intensity of your small actions. Over time, these repeated actions become habits.

However, it’s important to point out that vices, when repeated, also become habits, contrary to character. If you identify an addiction in your behavior, try to interrupt its cycle of repetition, replacing it with an activity that is pleasurable and edifying for you.

By adhering to these suggestions for preparing for the present, self-knowledge and daily practices (steps 1, 2 and 3), I truly hope that you can take charge of your personal growth in virtues. You’ll certainly notice when you’re on the right track.

Now, tell me, what habits would you like to strengthen? And what virtues would be important for your work?